For example, perhaps your child runs away from you in the store.
Divert a behavioral issue by offering two choices that are both okay with you. “When we put away the books, then we can go outside.” You’re a hard worker.” Clear, descriptive encouragement rather than praise helps your child understand your expectations and builds confidence. “You put your shoes in the closet and hung up your backpack. Let your child know when he gets it right. The words, “Put your crayons in the box and put the paper in the drawer,” are much more helpful than, “Don’t make a mess with the art supplies.” Tell your child specifically what to do, rather than what not to do. If you can find and alleviate the cause, the behavior typically stops. Children’s challenging behavior is usually caused by: 1) A lack of knowledge or experience 2) A need for attention 3) Physical triggers, such as fatigue or hunger 4) Emotional triggers like boredom or fear. Parenting is an endurance sport and you need to care for yourself so you can care for your child. Connect with friends, participate in a hobby, or read a book. Go to bed early and make time for exercise. Sometimes a change of scenery is all that’s needed. If you’re having a rough day, go for a walk, put on some music, or get out of the house. Humor should never be mean-spirited or at a child’s expense. Use humor that’s at the child’s developmental level. Sometimes just saying something silly or absurd is enough to reduce tensions. Try to remember that most of these challenges probably won’t matter a year or five years from now. It’s easy to become frustrated or worn down by the daily challenges of parenting young children. These little moments cement your relationship and give children the security they need. Eat dinner together, read stories at bedtime, and take time to talk about the day. Try to slow life down as much as possible and engage in family time activities, especially in the evenings. When parents are stressed or anxious, children may feel fearful. Children may not understand the intricacies of adult life, but they are acutely sensitive to parents’ emotional states. Prep backpacks, lunches, and coffee the night before. Even just a few minutes to yourself can make a big difference in how the day feels. 
We’ll clean up the trains in five minutes.” For example, “It’s almost time to go to school.
Give your child notice before making transitions. Children feel safer and happier when they know what to expect.
Plan ahead and maintain a predictable schedule. This toolbox offers simple solutions to common parenting challenges. Parental modeling of appropriate behaviorsīelow is our positive guidance toolbox for parents. Clear expectations and structure while allowing for adaptations and change. However, many parents have found that children respond well to a combination of: Parenting styles and attitudes vary, and there is no one “right” way to parent. Every child and every family is different. Parenting can be profoundly rewarding, but it can also be challenging. Teach social skills directly when needed. Model positive communication and social interactions. Help children solve problems and find solutions. Observe children to understand the causes of behavioral challenges, such as fatigue, confusion, or frustration. The classroom should have both noisy and quiet areas, and plenty of soft spaces. Materials should be organized so children can easily access and use them. Create classroom environments that promote independence and engagement. Unrealistic expectations set children up for failure and often lead to frustration and behavioral issues. Set realistic expectations for children. Give children the same respect given to adults. Spend quality time every day talking and listening to each child. Effective positive guidance teaching and practices. We believe that the foundations for all healthy social-emotional development in the classroom include: You’ll also learn new ideas to use at home. In this short guide, you’ll learn more about positive guidance at Bright Horizons. Our Caring Matters curriculum provides teachers with a wealth of information on positive guidance and social-emotional development.
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